I recently got a word from God that was actually really hard to hear. He commanded me to “Stand up!” and leave insecurity behind. That it was time to walk in my identity and no longer question my value.
My dear friend, who delivered this word, got a dirty look from me as she obediently said what God put on her heart, “You either believe him or you don’t – and Lord, I just rebuke her if she is feeling like she can’t do this because she can.”
What do you mean I can do this? That is hard! I just DECIDE to believe God and rise up?! How dare you rebuke me? You don’t even know what I was thinking!
Oh, but I wasn’t really mad at my friend, and by the grace of God I took time to be by myself and pray about this word before talking with her about it.
I was actually upset with God. My friend was right to rebuke me – I was thinking, “But, I can’t do that..” More importantly I was afraid of failing.
As I spent time with God, he showed me that I have been running from who I am because I am afraid of not being accepted.
I don’t say something I find funny because I’m afraid someone will think I’m weird.
I don’t speak up because I’m afraid people won’t accept what I have to say or will bite my head off.
I’m afraid to be my bubbly, joyful self around guys because they might think I like them.
I’m afraid to be my bubbly, joyful self around girls because they may not trust how happy I am and think I’m being fake.
The list could go on and on. All of it based off of fear and shame. Shame says, “You are bad.” And isn’t that what I’m believing? Trying to “save” everyone from the real me because it might offend someone or I might be misunderstood.
Timely in and of itself, I also “happen” to be reading Christine Caine’s new book Unashamed and what she said about gates is spot on:
“The enemy will put a gate from your past in front of every new thing to which God is calling you, and you will have to decide if you will take a risk and move forward.”
“Gates can be so intimidating because they spark our shame responses: Who am I? What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? Who will ever listen to me? I’m not qualified.”
Gates can be defined as old ways of thinking that keep us confined in certain ways of living that aren’t based in freedom.
God can’t force you to new places with him – you have to make the choice to believe, trust, and take risks with him.
We have to believe he means what he says – that his words are true. “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” You have value and purpose. You are accepted and loved. You are secure.
Ultimately, every time I have an opportunity to be uniquely me, fear comes in and says, “They aren’t going to accept you if you say/do that.” And I choose to listen to fear instead of believe the truth of God. Because sometimes it seems safer to not reveal yourself if there is a possibility you might get trampled on. What we don’t see though is that the place of inaction and hiding actually does more harm than good; God isn’t released in a situation that could desperately use his presence and it reinforces the lies/chains you are in that you are bad and no one will accept you if you show your real self.
It’s risky being yourself, but it feels so good to trust God and experience his freedom.
I had to come to grips with the fact that I am not a victim. I have choices and I make them every moment. I had to make the choice to believe God.
The enemy is afraid of you. He will do everything in his power to make you believe his lies instead of God’s truth because he knows that when you are truly yourself with no apologies, fear or disillusionment, you are a force for God to be reckoned with.
God made you uniquely with specific viewpoints, gifts, talents, and personality because he needs YOU, just as he made you, for this specific day and time.
He can’t use the specific person he made when you are busy trying to be somebody else.
Fling off the lies of shame that you aren’t good, not good enough, unloved, unwanted or disliked.
Stand up and believe the truth of God that you ARE good, more than enough, loved, wanted and liked.
Ask God to show you the times you act out of insecurity and fear instead of the security of God’s affection for you. Be you boldly.
I’m writing this because I believe this word is for all of us, not just me. It’s time to kick insecurity to the curb friends, he’s not doing you any favors.
Once I realized God doesn’t command us to do something we can’t do and that his words are trustworthy, I saw the moments I backed down from being myself. I asked God to help me in the moment choose his truth – to remember it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me because their opinion has no weight on my worth or value, which is secure in God.
You can do this. God is a good father, trust him.